Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
