I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
