I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
