I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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