Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
