Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
