my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my being single is dangerous.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
