nut hugger
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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