They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
