I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
