Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
