he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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