I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
