It's like God shit irony all over that family
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
