Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
