I think my vagina is haunted
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
