If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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