We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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