What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
