I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
