someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
