My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Come see our sink grown plant.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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