ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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