Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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