What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
