also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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