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If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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