The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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