i just wanna soil my oats bro
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
