just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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