I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
