did you get engaged???
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
