I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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