How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
