What a fucking waste of an outfit
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
