Porn is love you can see.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
