So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
