if i can run in heels then i can drive
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
