like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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