is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
