what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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