I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is the high leading the old right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
