If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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