Where is the hickey?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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