Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I supernannyed him into submission
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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