Jerry, you need to find god
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
