Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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