If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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