I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
