The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
